Monday, August 27, 2012

Less than a week?!

So for a while now, I've been compiling a few lists in my head so I thought it was a good time to lay them all out.  But first, my appointment...

Today was my 39 week appointment.  My doctor said I was about 3 cm (as opposed to 1 last Monday) and that it is highly likely that I will go into labor on my own between today and Saturday.  Everyone I told this to was so excited. I am scared shitless. I am not afraid of being a mom.  I am afraid of labor.  I'm afraid of going into labor when I least expect it, going to the hospital at the right time, forgetting to call/text someone with the good news.  This is all of my anxiety building up and I hate it. I want to feel somewhat calm when I go into it all.  Honestly, when I think about going into labor, I start to tear up....what am I going to do when it actually happens?!

For my lists...

Things I will miss about being pregnant (yes, I said it.):
*Random people smiling at me.  Today at the store after my appointment I had 6 people at the grocery store smile or make a comment.  Pretty sure one was drunk, but she still counts.  One actually said to me in passing "You look radiant."  That made me smile.  That is so nice to hear when all I see is tree trunks for legs.
*Eating lots of food.  This needs to explanation.
*Having people do things for me at work (in the beginning I hated this. But as I grew more tired (read:fat) I was grateful for it.)
*Feeling him kick and pushing back.  Sometimes it hurts like hell, but it makes me smile and giggle every single time I feel it.
*Getting a back massage every night from the best husband ever. :)
*Getting away with wearing flip flops to work.
*Knowing where he is at all times.

Things I will NOT miss about being pregnant:
*Not being able to wear my wedding rings.  I cannot wait to put them back on.
*Getting up in the middle of the night to pee. It's :AWFUL!!
*Grunting and groaning just to do something as simple as putting on my shoes or getting out of bed.
*People saying "I bet you are so ready to be done!"
*My awful swelling feet.
*I can't wait to eat a hot dog without guilt.
*The random days where I would literally wake up and feel like I was hit by a bus.
*I also can't wait to drink a glass of wine.

Dan just left for our nightly walk with Shadow and I stayed home for fear of pushing along labor :)

2 comments:

  1. I know that you must be scared, terrified, nervous, all those words that bring on anxiety, but try to just think of it as in the whole long story of your son's life, this task of giving birth to him is so miniscule and will be over before you know it. The pain, the anxiety, it's all small peanuts to the fact that you are creating a whole life. And I'm pretty sure that if you did forget to call someone in all the rush, you would more than certainly be forgiven.

    Now, remember to tell me this a few years down the line when I'm freaking out about having my first kid!

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  2. i bet you are so ready to be done!!! :)

    or...your still pregnant??

    LOL

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