Monday, August 27, 2012

Less than a week?!

So for a while now, I've been compiling a few lists in my head so I thought it was a good time to lay them all out.  But first, my appointment...

Today was my 39 week appointment.  My doctor said I was about 3 cm (as opposed to 1 last Monday) and that it is highly likely that I will go into labor on my own between today and Saturday.  Everyone I told this to was so excited. I am scared shitless. I am not afraid of being a mom.  I am afraid of labor.  I'm afraid of going into labor when I least expect it, going to the hospital at the right time, forgetting to call/text someone with the good news.  This is all of my anxiety building up and I hate it. I want to feel somewhat calm when I go into it all.  Honestly, when I think about going into labor, I start to tear up....what am I going to do when it actually happens?!

For my lists...

Things I will miss about being pregnant (yes, I said it.):
*Random people smiling at me.  Today at the store after my appointment I had 6 people at the grocery store smile or make a comment.  Pretty sure one was drunk, but she still counts.  One actually said to me in passing "You look radiant."  That made me smile.  That is so nice to hear when all I see is tree trunks for legs.
*Eating lots of food.  This needs to explanation.
*Having people do things for me at work (in the beginning I hated this. But as I grew more tired (read:fat) I was grateful for it.)
*Feeling him kick and pushing back.  Sometimes it hurts like hell, but it makes me smile and giggle every single time I feel it.
*Getting a back massage every night from the best husband ever. :)
*Getting away with wearing flip flops to work.
*Knowing where he is at all times.

Things I will NOT miss about being pregnant:
*Not being able to wear my wedding rings.  I cannot wait to put them back on.
*Getting up in the middle of the night to pee. It's :AWFUL!!
*Grunting and groaning just to do something as simple as putting on my shoes or getting out of bed.
*People saying "I bet you are so ready to be done!"
*My awful swelling feet.
*I can't wait to eat a hot dog without guilt.
*The random days where I would literally wake up and feel like I was hit by a bus.
*I also can't wait to drink a glass of wine.

Dan just left for our nightly walk with Shadow and I stayed home for fear of pushing along labor :)

Sunday, August 19, 2012

38 Weeks

38 weeks.  Holy cow.  I feel like every week I say I can't believe I am this far.  Because well we keep getting farther and farther along.  People keep asking "when are you due?"  And my answer is now "2 weeks." 2. freaking. weeks.  13 days. 312 hours. 18,720 minutes. (Yes, I just did all that math.) It is just beyond me.  I honestly feel like it was just December 27th when we found out that we were going to be parents.  I vowed to stop being so anal and anxious about everything and I really think I have come a long way.  People around me are noticing it and it means a lot to me when they tell me that.  I don't want to be a crazy anxious mom for him.  I want to be able to allow him to enjoy things and us to enjoy things with us.

I can't stop thinking about the fall.  I pretty much don't know anything about football but I am actually excited to get him dressed up and go to peoples' houses to watch games and have people over to watch Illinois games. NOT Packers games, Dan. ;) I am really excited to take him to the pumpkin patch and taking silly pictures of him sitting in a bunch of pumpkins that he won't ever remember.  But it'll be so cute.  Because I am sure he will be so cute :)

Here is my picture for the week! Sometimes I feel huge and sometimes I don't.  It's very weird.  I don't think I have had any contractions which is good because I need to get through a few more weeks of work.  I think I am going to be late or scheduled.  Which is fine by me.  Scheduled would be so much easier considering that we have Shadow.  And I want Shadow to be home when Dan comes home by himself so he can bring him a blanket and do all of that business.  He may just be spending a lot of time in his crate.  Depending on when I go into labor and how available everyone else is to help us out.

*The heat is starting to die down which is nice.  But since the weather out here is so unpredictable, I'm sure we'll have a few days of 90 in September after he's here.
*I finally packed a bag for me and for him.  Dan threw some stuff in there for himself, too.  He had been bothering me for about 2 months to get it done and I never did.
*I started writing things in his journal.  Like I said before, I don't know if I'll ever give it to him but it's been helping sort out all of my thoughts right now.  Which believe me, there are a lot going on in there.
*I can't stop drinking milk.  Before I was pregnant, we would be hard pressed to finish a gallon of milk before its expiration date.  Now, we go through probably 2 a week.  I eat cereal every day (I hate cereal) and I have probably 2 glasses of milk a day.  But it has to be very cold.  Hahaha.  It will be interesting to see if I keep this up.
*My shoulders are killing me.  It's mostly my left shoulder and I have no idea why. Sometimes it almost feels like there is a nerve in there that is being pinched randomly.  I keep forgetting to ask the doctor about it.

My thoughts are less jumbled this week.  I am kind of trying to just get things done when they come to my mind.  I finally finished my thank you notes from the showers (oops.).  That took a long time. But at least I got them out before he got here.  I was a mess last week (as you can tell from my previous random post) and am doing much better now.  I have been cleaning the house a lot because I know if I go into labor and we have to abruptly leave, I don't want to come home from the hospital with him to a messy house.  So I am trying to keep up with the cleaning.  It's not easy when I can't bend over anymore.

People keep saying to us "get your sleep now!"  Dan and I don't really understand this.  It's not like you can bank sleep.  Put away a few hours here to pull out in September when he decides not to sleep all night.  I understand we won't be getting a lot of sleep (if any) when he gets here.  But the way I see it, sleep will eventually end so why get lots of it now?

I think we/I have decided on a name.  We were down to 2, and I was leaning toward one while Dan was leaning toward the other.  He finally said he would be okay with either and we've been calling him by the one name more than the other so I think we are good to go.  It's just weird for me to not call him "baby" because I can't put a face to a name, I guess.  But soon we will be able to! I am so excited to meet him.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

37 weeks

We are at that point where the doctor checks me once a week!  Man, it's painful.  This past Monday she said that if I called her to let her know that my water broke, she would laugh.  So we are far away.  Which is OKAY with me.  School starts the 20th so I would really like to get through that week.  She said I was about 20-30% effaced but that it didn't really mean anything. I told her that I am so okay with being late and not being early.  She told me that she never hears that. Haha. Maybe after we get through the 20th I will be singing a different tune.

For my picture this week, I thought I'd share a few that my sister took last weekend. :)

We haven't been up to much lately.  We packed our bag and Little Dude's bag and we are ready for anything! Ok, maybe not anything.

Dan started his new job yesterday and seems to be enjoying it.  The commute is pretty crappy so far but it's only been 2 days so we will see if it gets any better.  I am exhausted.  Mentally and physically.  All I think about is when this baby is coming and physically I am just tired.  I am too tired to roll over at night. Too tired to do anything, really.  My body is exhausted.

I had a ton of thoughts for this blog post, but speaking of being exhausted.....I can't focus my thoughts!! :)