Saturday, December 31, 2011

Finishing up Week 4

Just an FYI to those who are reading this, this is not going to be a cutesy "mommy is pregnant and loving it" blog.  I am holding nothing back. :)
We are finishing up week 4 of pregnancy.  Sounds weird to say. What are you up to, baby fetus?

-You are the size of a poppy seed! Daddy had to ask what a poppy seed was :)
-I don't know if this is all in my head or not, but food looks so good to me, I make it, and then have no desire to eat it.  I bought a chicken on Thursday to make and I couldn't wait to eat it. I had about 3 bites and a few bites of mashed potatoes.  Then I had a pickle. Then I had ice cream. Guess I am officially a pregnant chick.
-My boobs hurt like they were run over by a truck. Seriously. It hurts to walk up and down the stairs.  Pregnancy is going to be awesome!
-I am craving citrus, but again, when I think about actually eating it, I have no desire.
-I went grocery shopping the other day and when I got home I felt like I had just run a marathon. I was exhausted.
-I am weighing in at 118 pounds - my starting weight.

We are gearing up to tell our parents tomorrow.  I had initially wanted to wait until our first doctor's appointment (January 23rd, 8 weeks) but I can't hold it in any longer. We are not going to tell our siblings until the appointment so I have to somehow get my parents alone without my 8 year old brother. Not so easy.  I want to do it in a cool, creative way, but when it comes down to it, if I can't, no big deal. I think my mom has an idea anyway. I can't keep anything from her :)

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A note from daddy

So, Melanie finally got the babies. It is weird to think it might actually be happening. I had always thought it was going to take a long time and we were going to have a lot of trouble trying to get pregnant. That's probably because I'm pessimistic by nature (I am a Cubs and Illini fan).  Now I just need to figure out how I'm going to keep Melanie from telling everyone she talks to until we at least meet with a doctor a little less than a month from now.

I've been around babies in my family for the last 8 years with 6 nieces and nephews. I think I've been "ready" (as ready as I ever could be) to have a baby for the last year or two.  I've seen the way my sisters are with their kids and how even the ones that like me, nothing is the same as mommy or daddy (or Opa). And in the last few years, I've seen it with my college friends. And that was really strange, as these were the guys I saw do some of the stupidest things in my life. And now they were responsible for a child and doing it well. And seeing the way their kids look at them and they look at their kids, it's something I am very much looking forward to having myself.

So I guess you could say I'm pretty excited. But I am scared too. Just trying to think of all the things we have to do over the next 9 months.Clean out the second bedroom. Paint that room, finish the bathroom, paint the bathrooms. Trade in Melanie's car and buy something more reliable. And then there is the whole parenting thing. My friend always told me he was never scared because as he said "my parents didn't screw me up too much, it can't be that hard." I wish I felt that way. However I don't think it's something that will ever change whether we have the baby now or in 10 years. So I'm just going to hope my wife knows what the hell she is doing until I'm able to figure it out myself.

It's time

Holy. Shit. I'm going to be a Mom. And Dan is going to be a Dad. I seriously never thought I would say that.

We haven't been using protection since September.  We didn't watch a calendar or anything so we were just "having fun with it" (as my doctor would say.)  When nothing happened, December rolled around and we decided to watch a calendar.  When we were home this weekend for Christmas, I kind of had a feeling something was happening.  I was peeing constantly, always hungry, and my boobs hurt like nobody's business.  It hurt to walk up and down the stairs.  We were driving home from my in-laws today and I had planned on taking a pregnancy test after work - so that I had one less day to have to keep it to myself.  The moment we walked in the door and unpacked the car, we looked at everything and laughed.  The thought of putting everything away was exhausting and I had to be at work in an hour.  I told Dan that I couldn't want until after work.  So upstairs I went to take the test. As I was peeing on it (sorry, TMI) I was saying in my head "HolyShitOhMyGodIsThisReallyHappening?!" I was shaking like a leaf because I just knew.  Before I even put the stick on the counter, there were 2 pink lines.  Dan was asking me a question from outside the door and I flung the door open and said "I'm pregnant." He said "Seriously?" And came over and gave me a hug.

I immediately FREAKED OUT.  I was shaking like crazy and couldn't say the words out loud again.  Shadow (our dog) was just staring at us and I said "Shadow, are you excited? We're gonna have a baby!"  And I seriously felt like for that moment, the world had stopped spinning, because my head was spinning enough for it. So many thoughts were racing though my head--How am I going to keep this a secret? When can I call the doctor? When is my due date? How long will I take off work?  How am I going to talk to my mom every day and keep this from her?  Am I going to tell my boss?  What if I start to get sick?  How many weddings am I going to miss out on this year?  Can I have a hotdog for lunch? 

I tried to calm myself down but the words "I'm pregnant" just kept running though my head. HOLY SHIT. I'm pregnant. I'm's even weird to type still. 

Then shit started to get real.  I need to take vitamins, I need to make sure I eat 3 times a day (I often skip lunch) I should probably start walking/running more.  I need to stop tinkering around on the computer until all hours of the night. I need to get sleep.  We need to paint the bathrooms like we had been planning.  Then all the negatives starting flushing through my brain.....Maternity clothes? Yuck. I am going to be super fat and uncomfortable for all 3 months of the summer - just what I didn't want.  We have 5 weddings this year. Boring. I'll be pregnant for our anniversary and my birthday. Also boring. But the more I thought about it, the more those things didn't matter much to me anymore. I'm going to be a mom. And I can't wait :)